Advice Column

Let me save you all a little trouble. Do not camp with toddlers if your husband isn't there to help. I repeat, do NOT camp with toddlers without some back up. Its stressful, tiring and you won't really enjoy yourself. Seriously. I wouldn't lie to you.

After spending my morning bitching about the rain and the fact that I can't camp this weekend, I have decided to shut my trap.

I just went and looked at pictures of what Hurricane Dolly is doing to Texas. I am humbled. So what if I can't camp. So what if it pours from now until next week. So what. I have a house and my family is safe. How dare I complain. My daughter is safe and warm, she isn't on a life boat or in the streets or in a shelter, cold, wet and scared.

For that, I am thankful.

Thanks!

*Thank you rain for effing up my weekend.

*Thank you inlaws for stealing my husband for the weekend.

*Thank you weather people for giving me false hope.

*Thank you Eureka! tents for the awesome tent I have used once because of all the rain.

My O Face

This blog isn't just about Beans, its also about me. I happen to be quite fascinating (not really). Here are just a few things (this could be a recurring theme here) that make me O.

Scrapbooking Supplies and Organization







Organized Closets



Shoes



Star Tattoo's

Muffin Top

Ever wonder how to put on 4 pounds in 2-3 days? Let me teach you.

Start with pizza on a Thursday night. Eat it really late, so late that you go to bed immediatly after eating more than your fair share of the pie.

Wake up on Friday morning and eat breakfast, then eat your daughters breakfast.

Go to Friendly's. Get a Honey BBQ Supermelt. Eat the entire sandwich, fries, and then eat your daughters hot dog and mac and cheese that she isn't touching.

Follow up your lunch with a Butterfinger Ice Cream Sundae.

You will start to feel sick to your stomach. Do not let that stop you from eating dinner. Do not start taking it easy and absolutely do NOT count calories!

Eat a hot dog, macaroni salad, pasta salad and about 1,452 chips and dip. When your stomach feels like its going to pop open, take a tums and keep on truckin. Eat a few more chips, I mean, you wouldn't want them to go to waste.

Drink a lot of beer, or any high calorie beverage of your choice.

Saturday Morning, go to breakfast. Eat eggs, sausage, toast (with Jam of course), home fries and a drink.

For lunch eat a slice of pizza (or 2...) and start drinking beer.

That should just about do it. You can of course continue this eating pattern for the remainder of your weekend, but it isn't necessary. The four pounds should be there.

If you are an overachiever like myself you can keep going. Have a frozen Chicken Pot Pie for dinner on Saturday night. That is a quick (and tasty) 1,000 calories. Wake up on Sunday, eat a heavy breakfast, drink lots of calories and have sloppy joes for dinner...with fries.

Grrrr..

Pictures are gone.

He claims there must have been a "glitch" because he didn't delete them.

I am really not convinced he didn't have *something* to do with this.

Damn it.

I had a totally Myspace worthy pic on there.

None of Carly though, so at least I didn't lose anything super important.

Bean's had a Well-Child check up today. Not sure why they call it a "well child".. I mean I know she isn't sick..but "well child" just doesn't have a nice ring to it.

Anywho, she is 22.75 pounds and is 33 inches long.

During the entire appointment she was pounding on the door and repeating "help me!" She is really not a fan of the doctors office. She cries when I undress her to get weighed... so you can only imagine how bad shots are. Luckily she didn't need any today. Thank God.

Oh and -


Stay tuned: Possible domestic dispute here at our house. I think my husband deleted all the pics off my camera. He just pulled in, can't wait to see how it goes :)

You're not who I wanted

Yesterday Morning:

Beans wakes up (she is in our bed, which isn't something she is used to) and I hear her moving around, I'm in the closet.

Beans: Hey. Hey.... HEY!

Me: Oh good morning Beanie!

Beans: Da da?

Me: Dada's at work baby.

Beans: Oh. (she said it very matter-of-factly, as if she was totally bummed she was stuck with me).

How did they get there?

I cleaned out the toy box yesterday. In it I found the following items:

2 flashlights

1 bottle of prenatal vitamins.

2 softballs

1 horsewhip (we only use it on the dog, and we are gentle...promise!)

1 empty can of Altoids

and

1 insense burner thingy (the wooden things that hold the sticks) (fyi, I REALLY hate insense)

Long Weekend Review

Friday -

We had a wonderful July 4th weekend. Beans was a really good girl. She even sat still at the parade. My daughter, sat still, for an ENTIRE parade. I would like to thank the person who threw her a lollipop because she was in Heaven and that was probably why she was so good.

Saturday -

Beans grabs my boob, gives it a squeeze and shouts, "BALL!" Sorry honey, that's not as much a ball as it is a deflated water balloon.

Sunday -

I ordered a new tent! It so awesome too. I had a boner all day after I ordered it. Its my dream tent and the high of getting it has overridden my paranoia about spending the money. It was a lot of money. A lot for me anyway. But its so pimp... check it out!

Seriously...

When is she going to sleep through? Like, when will the day come that I'm shocked that she woke up in the middle of the night? Please tell me. And I'll kiss you if you say its soon. She was up three times last night. Two is the new average, three is just enough to get my blood boiling. I don't get it. She can go a week where she sleeps through (okay, she's only slept through for a whole week, in a row, once, but still, it was awesome) and then it all goes to crap. We do the same thing every night. We have the same routine and she goes down at relatively the same time every single night. Why oh WHY does she not sleep through but 1-2 nights a week, IF that??

I am so tired. I'm always tired. People ask me when I'm having another. As far as I'm concered she is still a baby. I don't need two babies people. I'm struggling with one.