Rambling.

There is so much I want to write here..but I won't.. its too long and wordy and I'm trying to be quick about this without getting caught at work. Hehe.

Anyway.. I was just thinking about me, as a mother. I always thought I'd be great at it. I truly thought I could make it look easy and that I wasn't going to have the frustrations that "other" mothers would have. I'd have the good, well behaved baby. My toddler wouldn't act up in stores, my child wouldn't be brat and would always use their manners. Little did I know that being a mom is hard. Very very hard. Yes, Carly was colicy..but it has nothing to do with that. She was not an easy baby.. but is there any such thing as an easy baby to a new mom? Easier maybe, but certainly not easy. Its a huge adjustment. I have bad days, I have good days, I have GREAT days.. and I have terrible days. But every single day is better because I have Carly.

And you know what.. she can be a brat, she flips out in stores, she doesn't always use her manners and she may possibly be wearing diapers to Kindergarden.. but whatever!

I am 2 years into this mom thing and guess what, I haven't fucked it up yet! I have a happy, healthy, wonderful daughter. She talks, she laughs, she loves life.

Its not easy to raise a child.. but its so easy to love one.

Evil Genius

Beans is a genius. Truly. Not in the traditional way necessarily, but of the evil variety. She knows how to get what she wants, and she is constantly pushing her luck.

Getting her dressed in the morning has been the most recent battle at our house. She doesn't want to get dressed or go to daycare anymore. This is a phase she goes through every now and then, most of the time she is happy to go to daycare.

Today I decide its time for a fresh start. I am going to trick her and make her get dressed. I tell her she can't watch Toonies (cartoons) until she is dressed. She isn't happy about it, but she loves toonies, so she gives in with no fight.

Ahah! I did it, I win! Right?

No. She plays me. She completely plays me for a fool. Five minutes before its time to leave the house she claims she has to potty. I know she doesn't have to go. She never wants to use the potty, ever. The potty is the easiest way for her clothes to be taken off without her having to hide from me and do it. And at the same time, knowing she doesn't have to go, I don't want to discourage her from potty usage. I really wanted to say "pee in your diaper"..but I didn't. I took her clothes off. She proceeded to sit, not even pee a single drop, and then use a half a roll of toilet paper (which by the way, she doesn't even wipe, she just likes to drop it in the toilet)...

And now comes the fight to get her dressed again.

And its -10 today, so not only does she need an outfit on, she has to wear boots, hat, coat, and mittens.

And she cried when I left her at daycare.

Happy freeken Hump Day.

Long time no bloggy.

I haven't really had anything very interesting to write about lately. So here is a list of random stuff going on in my life.

1 - Beans turns 2 on Monday. WAH! Where did the time go?

2 - Beans refuses to wear clothes. You can find her naked, wearing rubber boots and a winter hat, or baseball cap, whichever she feels like that day.

3 - I am not going to lie, you can also sometimes find pee running down her leg and into said rubber boots.

4 - She peed on the floor 5ish times this week already. Its only Wednesday.

5 - She threw a screaming fit in the grocery store yesterday. It was so freeken embarrasing. I wanted to die. I would have just left the store and not rewarded her for the bad behavior, but like HELL I was leaving without a bottle of wine. She also got a book.. so yeah, no lesson learned there on her end. I learned however that I will never bring her to the store again.

6 - I am addicted to Facebook.

7 - I saw a guy in Walmart on Sunday that looked like Akon. When he left my site, I spent 30 minutes wandering the store looking for him. Realistically I know it wasn't Akon, considering we are in Vermont and we are in Walmart... and even if it was him, what was I going to say? "Hi, I'm Heidi, I'm married with a kid, but I am more than willing to lead a double life if you are interested.." that probably wouldn't have worked. I could have also said "Hi, wanna go hide in an isle and make out??" that may have been a better approach.. though if we are being honest, the conversation would have gone something more like "babble babble akswioasiaskfjsa AKON alskahasjflk bbabbblblleeeeee I LOVE YOU..."

Boring

Things are crazy boring here lately. Nothing fun or new to report.

Beans pooped on my floor the other day.. but I mean, it didn't really come as a surprise or anything.

We put her in a bed this weekend. We promptly went back to the crib the following night.

Um.. yeah, that is it. We are booooring :)

Happy Halloween!!

Quite Possibly

The best money I ever spent.

Nap Time

Let me set the scene. I'm pretending to sleep, as is my husband.

Beans: Mama!

Me: ::fake snore::

Beans: Mama! (She notices a mole on my face and begins to touch it) Boo boo mama? Boo boo mama ::muah:: (kisses it) all bedda mama! (all better) All bedda. (She then begins to lick her finger and rub it on my "boo boo") all bedda, boo boo, all bedda boo boo.

At this point there is no more nap to be had. I am shaking from laughing and give up on her going to sleep.

Patience

Patience truly is a virtue. One I do not have.

My problem is I am patient for a long time, and then I lose it. There is no middle ground where I work up to my freak-outs.. its all or nothing.

Example:

Me - Beans, put your pants on.

Beans - No

Me - Beanie, please put your pants on, we have to get going.

Beans - No mama

Me - Sweetie, can we please put our pants on? Its time to go to Shelby's house.

Beans - No

Me - You don't want to go to Shelby's today? Oh, that's too bad, its so fun there.

Beans - No

Me - Come on pretty girl, its time for those pants.

Beans - No

Me - Beanie, lets get going now, no more fooling around.

Beans - No

Me - Sweety, listen to mommy please.

Beans - No

Me - PUT YOUR FRIGGEN PANTS ON RIGHT NOW BEFORE I PUT YOU IN THE FREEZING CAR WITHOUT ANY ON! DO YOU WANT THAT? HUH? DO YOU WANT TO FREEZE ALL DAMN DAY BEANER???? GET THE EFFING PANTS ON RIGHT THIS SECOND!!!!

Beans - WAAAAAHHHHHH MAAAAMMMAAAA

Me - Lay down sweetie and we'll get those pants on you.

Beans - No

Grrrrrr

Best Daycare Ever

Beans goes to the best daycare ever. I could go on and on and on about why its so great, but bottom line, the girl who owns it (its a small in-home center) invited me to an Adult Toy Party last week. I mean.. is that not the greatest? Not only does she do a steller job watching my kid, but she is a closet freak-a-leek. Love it :)

Oh.

Was I not supposed to write on the wall?

You're going down.

At our house, we feed the Bengals to the dog!! Go Steelers! :)

*For those of you who are not football fans, the Bengals and the Steelers are in the same division. Sort of a rivarly you might say.*

Dear Sky

I know you see me from up there. You saw I got out of bed early and turned on my hair straightener. You saw how I brushed my hair really good and parted it so that all of my pieces would get properly straightened. You saw how long it took and how hot that freeken iron is and how many times my neck got burned. You saw, I know you did.

So explain to me why the hell you think its cool to rain. My soft beautiful hair lasted all of five effing minutes before it turned into a frizz ball when I had to go outside. Thanks a lot. Asshole.

Stacey and Clinton.. we need your help!

This is the outfit Beans picked out last week. Luckily we had nowhere to go...

Will the burning ever stop?

I started working out again yesterday. I did the whole dieting thing alone, and now I'm going to try to diet and exercise. I am sick of jiggling everywhere. I want some firmness in my life.

I decided to take it easy, I only did 4 things (of the weight lifting nature) and only 2 sets of each exercise. I figured I would ease into it.

I'm not sure what went wrong, but everything I "worked" burns today. Sharp shooting pains when I try to sit, stand, walk, breathe...

Ouchy.

I'm back!

Did you miss me? Did you even notice I was gone?? Haha.

We had a wonderful time in Virginia. Everything went really well. Now the hard part starts. Getting Beans back into a routine. She got used to sleeping in my mom's bed and now she doesn't want to sleep in her crib. Great! I am not really good at letting her cry it out at night, so this should be interesting..

Can you spare a pair?

I need a set of balls. I have none (prolly because I'm a girl).. so perhaps I could just borrow some for when I need to stand up for myself. I'm not so good at that, and its getting tired.

Help. Thanks!

Unforseen Expenses

Just when I think I have all the bills covered for the month, more come in.

We need to get the truck inspected. Lame.

My license needs to be renewed. Lame.

They want us to pay for TV, totally lame, that should be free, isn't that why we have to watch commericals? Gay*.

***Don't get your panties in a bunch, I have nothing against gay people, I just like to use the word when I'm annoyed.

She sat still.

I love her so much.

She did it! On her own.

She slept through, no crying necessary. I will give a big Thank You to Ky as she mentioned last week that she switched the kids over to Supreme diapers at night to prevent leaks when they were around this age. I'm not sure if that's what did it or not, but I used them and she slept all night. Maybe she was just mad about waking up with a wet cooter? She always acted like she didn't want to get out of bed, she was just uncomfortable. So maybe this is the trick. Either way, we are now using Supreme's at night. I hope she keeps this up!

Help!

I'm already starting to chicken out and it's only 2:45 in the afternoon!

Wah.. why am I such a tool?

I need my morning/overtired/pissy anger to carry me through until her next bedtime, but unfortunetly she's been awesome today and now I feel bad for her. I don't want her laying in bed thinking I'm an a-hole. Pray she sleeps through on her own, would ya? I don't think I have it in me to let her cry.